Oh, How the Pretty Have Fallen
by The Enduring Man-Child
Summary: No longer a one-shot. Blame current events and a plot bunny with very sharp teeth!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello all. EM-C here. First off, I want to apologize for taking so long in updating _No Man Knows My Story. _I'm waiting for my inspiration to kick back in, but I promise (_beli neder_) to get around to working on it again eventually. I'm a little reluctant to force a story when there is no inspiration behind it. It could turn out to be not-so-good.**

**In the meantime, this little plot bunny has been aggravating me for the longest time, so here's a short little one-shot to help everyone along.**

**- - - - - **

**Oh, How the Pretty Have Fallen**

**by "The Enduring Man-Child"**

_**With thanks to cpneb for the beta.**_

_**All standard disclaimers apply.**_

The place looked pleasant enough. The ultra-modern building seemed friendly, its surroundings attractive, replete with park-like grounds dotted with flowers and trees and strategically placed benches on which the—ahem—guests (the more fortunate among them, at any rate) could spend some precious time outside each day (carefully monitored, of course). But that didn't alleviate the uncomfortable feelings the two newest visitors had in the pits of their stomachs as they pulled up into the parking lot in their powerfully upgraded Sloth.

Noticing that Kim continued to just sit after turning off the motor, her boyfriend thought he would end the oppressive silence.

"Well...we're here," he said.

"Yeah. Here we are," she agreed, still making no move to get out.

"Um...KP, I know this isn't going to be the most pleasant experience, but she _was _a friend of ours at one time. Hadn't we better go in?"

It was a moment before Kim answered. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess there's no use putting this off any longer." Then with a sigh she unlocked her seat belt and opened the door. Ron followed close behind. They slowed as they approached the entrance, unsure as to whether they were supposed to just go on in, press a button, or what. Rufus popped his head out of Ron's cargo pocket to take a look till Ron whispered to him that this was a time for "low pro," after which he dove back in.

Kim placed her hand on the door and turned to Ron. "Well?" she asked him.

"No idea, KP. I don't see any guards or anything. If it's not locked I guess we're just supposed to go in."

Kim pressed and the door opened. She turned to her bf/bf and with a motion of her head told him to follow as she stepped in.

Never having been to such a place before, their unsureness could be excused. They were surprised to find a small lobby within (though no one but themselves was present) and saw a receptionist on duty. Walking up to the desk, Kim cleared her throat.

"Excuse me, Ma'am. We're--"

"Ah yes, Kim Possible and her gentleman friend!" she said, much to Ron's embarrassment, "We've been expecting you. Please take a seat while I summon someone."

They did as they were told and presently a young man entered from an inner door. Kim was impressed with his neat and pleasant look (she didn't know what she had been expecting). The only indication of where they were was his white intern's jacket.

"Ah, Miss Possible, Mr. Stoppable," he said to them, "You're here, and right on time. Please follow me." And he went back into the door from which he had emerged, Kim and Ron following him down the hall, looking uncomfortably at the doors on both sides of them as they did so. Finally after escorting through a confusing series of hallways he led them into a waiting room and indicated a couple of seats. "Please make yourselves comfortable. It will be just a moment." Then taking out a key card he opened another, very thick, door and disappeared.

Kim took a seat and motioned for Ron to do the same, then looked around. Now this was more like what she expected. It wasn't bleak, but it certainly didn't make any pretensions. There were no pictures or decorations on the walls of this room—only a coat of sickly light green paint. But the stark evidence of exactly what sort of place this was was right before them: a thick window of plate glass, intersected with metal grids, and in the center a small grill for the passage of mechanically enhanced speech. But as uncomfortable as it was to look at this, it was easier than looking at one another. Both teens looked straight at the window, then to the floor, then back at the window—and then they saw her.

Her appearance was jarring. Gone were the beautiful long blond locks. Instead her hair, which she had evidently dyed black some time earlier, was unkempt and so terribly short, struggling to grow out of a head that had been recently shorn clean. Her eyes were tired and sagging, with heavy bags under them—nothing like the sparkling cerulean gems they had been at one time. Her skin, though certainly not ugly, no longer bore makeup to hide the myriad little "flaws" that are present in all girls but those manufactured in a doll factory. She wore a green uniform somewhat resembling coveralls and thus lacked a belt. Most distressing were the two staff members who accompanied her to her seat on the opposite side of the window. Their uniforms were of a darker green than their charge, and their countenances were much sterner and more serious than the young man who had led them here. Furthermore, when they had deposited their young charge into her chair they refused to leave, folding their arms and standing on either side of her.

It was a pitiable sight.

Finally the young girl spoke.

"Kim..."

"Brittina. I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say..."

"There's nothing to say," she responded. "I'm well aware I made my own bed. But..." Then the tears began to fall.

Ron instinctively reached for his handkerchief to offer her, but to no avail. There was no space for the passing of such things.

"Please, Brittina," Kim said, becoming distressed at seeing her old friend in this sorry condition, "it's all going to turn out all right! That's what this place is for—to make you well, so you can go back out there and get right back on top!"

"Yeah...sure..." Brittina sounded as though she'd heard it all before. "I hear I'm still very big in Uruguay," she said with bitterness.

"Um...excuse me," Ron interjected, "but you should be grateful that they got to you in time. Now you can turn your life around!"

Brittina looked at Ron's simple, trusting face. So innocent. So naïve. Then suddenly she opened wide her formerly sirenic eyes and **GAZED **upon him. She lifted her hand towards him in an imperious fashion and commanded, "Hapless male, _**COME TO ME!!**_"

Ron just blinked.

Nothing.

"Oh, it's no use!" Brittina wailed, the tears falling unhindered, "My Magical Female Powers(tm) are shot! Once I had all the prepubescent and teenage boys under my _**EVIL SPELL**_, and now..."

"Yeah, I know," Ron said in a comforting tone, "Now all they think about is that Fiona Arizona."

Suddenly Brittina's eyes bore the look of a wild animal. Her escorts sprung to restrain her as she jumped out of her seat.

"_Do __**NOT **__mention that name!_" she shouted as her two escorts grabbed her and tried to settle her back down in the chair.

"Ulp! Oops! Sorry 'bout that," Ron said, an mixture of fear and regret apparent in his voice. Kim took his hand and patted it to show she knew he had meant no harm. Finally the interns had managed to force Brittina back down and hold her till her breathing had calmed somewhat. She looked sorrowfully back at her two old friends.

"Sorry about that," she said sadly, "I just...I can't _bear _to hear that girl's name! I mean...sure, she's 'America's sweetheart' now...but I was 'America's Sweetheart once, and now...now..." She put her head in her hands and wept silently.

"Brittina," Kim said, trying to snap her out of it, "don't cry! It's going to be all right."

"Just you wait! She'll be here herself one day! 'Little Miss Perfect!' _Hah!!_"

"Brittina, please!" Kim appealed to her once again.

"Oh my...oh, I'm so sorry, Kim! They tell me I'm much better now, but I still sometimes lose it, especially when I think about..._her!_" There was the hint of a snarl as she spoke the last word.

"But you _are _getting better!" Kim comforted her, "how much longer do they think you'll need here?"

"Oh...they won't tell me just yet," she said, "they tell me I still have a lot of issues to work through. But I suppose I should start looking forward to starting life anew."

"_That's_ the spirit!" Kim said.

"Brittina, exactly _how _did all this start?" Ron asked. Kim cast a disapproving look his way for a moment and even the two interns looked nervous, as if afraid their restraint might be called for again. But it wasn't.

"No, that's all right," Brittina said, wiping her eyes, "it's a perfectly legitimate question. And, I suppose, a cautionary tale as well. I'll tell you."

Kim and Ron were on the edge of their chairs.

"It started with...with...chewing gum," she confessed. Kim and Ron were visibly shaken.

"No. Oh no, not _that!_" Kim said finally.

"Yes. Yes, I'm sorry; I was weak. But then...then..."

"Listen, if you don't want to talk about this..."

"No...no, I want to talk about this. Anyway, one day I was with some bad company. I believe Camille Leon was there. Anyway, I tried a drink of...of..." Her voice trailed off.

"Excuse me, what did you say?" Ron asked, to Kim's chagrin.

"Coffee. I said I had a drink of _coffee! __**There! **_I've said it!"

"With...with..._c-c-caffeine??_" Kim asked. Normally she wouldn't be the one to ask for such sordid details, but her curiosity was piqued.

"Yeah. Yeah. It was caffeinated. No cream," she added.

"The Devil's own brew!" Ron observed grimly.

"I know that now!" Brittina sobbed quietly. "Anyway, you can imagine where it went from there."

Both wholesome teens nodded.

"Playing bingo...and dancing...with _boys_... Oh, don't look at me!"

Kim and Ron could feel the shock within them, almost like a psychic black hole.

"Then one day," she added, her tone suddenly changing, "I took this kaiser blade. Some people call it a sling blade; I call it a kaiser blade...Mmm."

The two heroes, who had faced innumerable madmen over the years, held each other for comfort.

"_And I bobbed my hair!_"

Kim and Ron could contain themselves no longer. They wept openly.

"What a tale of degradation and shame!" Ron observed, overcome by emotion. Even Rufus, till this point carefully hidden in Ron's pocket, could contain himself no longer but popped his head out and bawled audibly.

One of the two interns looked at his watch and leaned towards the window. "I'm sorry, but we need to get our patient back to her room now," he said.

Brittina stood up. "Don't cry, my old friends!" she said, a note of optimism—or at least resignation—creeping into her voice at last. "In there there is no gum, no coffee, no bingo, no dancing and no kaiser blades (some people call 'em sling blades, I call 'em kaiser blades). Of course there was that incident with the lawn mower, but occasional relapses are to be expected. Ron—"

Ron looked at her in response.

"I'm sorry I turned you down for that date that time. You're a really nice guy. Kim's incredibly lucky to have you, and I had to be the most stuck-up little princess in the world not to see it. Kim—"

Kim looked at her.

"Keep on the straight and narrow. And tell all the immature prepubescent brats who worshiped me to learn from my experience and to avoid my fate."

"Brittina," Kim said earnestly, "Ron and I aren't the only heroes present here. It takes a special kind of bravery to pull back from the very brink of naughtiness and warn the impressionable youth about that dark underbelly of our society. I just want you to know that I'm proud of you, and when you _do _get out—and you _will—_we'll be waiting to illegally download your first new release!"

"Thanks Kim...Ron..." she said as she stood and prepared to be led away back to her room. "That's nice to know. Yes, one day I'll be back. Then _look out, _Fiona Arizona! At least in Uruguay," she added.

And she was gone.

"There goes a brave, brave girl," Ron remarked.

"Yes. Yes she is!" Kim agreed.

**The End?**


	2. Chapter 2

**I never meant this fic to have a second chapter, but the plot bunny of current events bit me and I couldn't resist! It's a kind of madness!**

**Oh, How the Pretty Have Fallen**

**by "The Enduring Man-Child"**

_**All standard disclaimers apply.**_

**Chapter 2**

Brittina had never felt happier, more vindicated. She knew this day would come eventually, but never in her wildest dreams had she thought it would come so soon. She'd had little reason to smile during her months here at the Institution for Soiled and Fallen Former Child Stars of the Mouse Ears Channel, but right now her smile was so _huge _that anyone observing her might be forgiven for fearing that the top of her head might drop off any minute as the ends of her lips met somewhere on the back of her neck.

It was recreation time (carefully supervised in a special room, of course), and there, in the corner, looking more miserable than any human being had a right to, was none other than America's sweetheart—Fiona Arizona! The poor thing was sitting as close to the corner as she could get with her face turned towards it, as if she were trying to evaporate from the real world and be soaked up by the wall. Her lowered head and covered ears seemed to indicate that she was trying to shut out the sights and sounds around her and seal herself up in a safe little world populated by no one but herself.

Oh, this _was _delicious!

Brittina told herself she was not going to pounce all at once. Oh no, she was going to savor this moment! But despite her intentions her emotions simply would not let her take it slow. She was starved for vindication, for satisfaction, for _schadenfreude—_for sweet, sweet _**vengeance!**_

Strolling up to the unfortunate new "client" of the institution, she first thought of getting her attention by tapping her on the back. But no...that wouldn't do. Best to let _everyone in the room _know who this was!

"Why, do my eyes deceive me or is it my good friend Fiona Arizona?" she asked in a voice thick with a syrupy sweetness so phony that one would have to be a truly dim bulb in order to miss it.

"Bri—Brittina? Oh, I'm so glad to see you!"

Yep—a dim bulb.

"Are you now?" The smile was still in place but it was more strained. This is not how she meant the convo to begin. She wanted to take her rival to Humiliation Nation, not Best Friends-Ville.

"Oh yes, and it's so nice to see a friendly face! Listen—you've got to tell them that this is all a big mistake!"

"Why Fiona darling, whatever are you talking about?" The smile became less strained as Brittina felt the thrill a big cat knows just before it seizes its helpless prey.

"I don't understand how this could happen to me," Fiona explained, "it was just a publicity photo shoot with Daddy; no big, right?"

"Oh...was it, now?" The sheer glee in Brittina's eyes told Fiona that this was not the sympathetic encounter she had thought it was at first.

"You—you're _glad _I'm in here now, aren't you? I see it all now! You're _jealous!_"

"Me? Jealous? Of _you? _Brittina fairly snorted, "why should I be jealous of a little runt who's destroyed her reputation before she even hits puberty? Oh yes, that was a nice little ride you had there, but it's all over now!"

"No it isn't! I have a show...it's the most popular show in the country—!"

"Not any more, sweetcakes," Brittina told her with the greatest satisfaction as she proceeded to file her nails in a most infuriatingly disinterested manner. "You were America's sweetheart, but that was yesterday; today you're _in here _with the rest of us troubled youth, and tomorrow it's the seamy underbelly of human society, so get ready for the ride, sister!"

"That ain't so!" she said, her accent becoming more acute as she became more distraught, "I'm a good girl! I've always been a good girl!"

Brittina stopped filing her nails long enough to give her a look of pure unadulterated disgust.

"The dude's your _dad, _girl! What ever got into your head to do such a thing?"

"Daddy didn't think there was anything wrong with it."

"Your daddy didn't think there was anything wrong with a mullet," Brittina responded cruelly, "not to mention the fact that one-hit-wonders are liable to lose their good judgment when they get a second crack at fame."

Fiona once again turned to the corner, wedging herself in as tightly as she could, as though trying to walk through the walls to freedom.

"And come to think of it, _Arrogance Beautiful _isn't even aimed at the demographic that watches your program. Talk about uncalled-for!"

Fiona Arizona, America's sweetheart, was crying.

"There's no use in blubbering," Brittina told her, "what's done is done."

"It was just a harmless little hand of gin rummy," she said weakly, "we weren't even playing for money."

"Ah yes, that's _always_ how it starts, isn't it?" her victorious tormentress crowed, "and now here you are being 'exposed' as the Antichrist by the _Weekly Wonder_! No way the Mouse Ears Channel can keep your show on now."

"My life is over," Fiona sobbed.

"Well...I wouldn't say that," Brittina smirked, "I'm sure every hormone-crazed pre-pubescent boy out there would give his eye teeth for just one hand of stakeless gin rummy with the latest formerly-pure-angel-turned-vixen. I can teach you all the irresistible sirenic gazes. I have lots of free time."

Fiona simply wailed at that. Brittina thought she would let her, but found herself becoming incensed by her adversary's unrealistic opinion of herself.

"Cut it out, little Miss Sunshine!" Brittina hissed at her as she turned her around and forced her to look her in the face, "snap out of it already! You're in The Tank now, and there's no room for pity in here!"

"My life's a nightmare!" Fiona said softly as she resumed weeping.

Brittina looked around carefully to make sure none of the uniformed orderlies were watching (that last little outburst had gotten them some unwanted attention). When all eyes were elsewhere she smiled a wicked smile and reached into her robe and pulled out something—a long, slim piece of yellow paper wrapped tightly around something.

Fiona could guess what the contents were, but she didn't want to. It was too horrible to contemplate.

"Is that—_sniff!_—what I think it—_sniff!_—is?"

"Yeah...the good stuff. Very hard to come by in here. Take it; it's on me."

"I—I can't!" she insisted, "It goes against every value I was raised with!"

"You mean like gin rummy with Daddy? Too late, crumbcake. Here. Take it. You know you want to!" She swung the forbidden object back and forth, forcing Fiona's eyes to follow it.

At last she could bear it no more. She seized the unmentionable thing from her tormentress' hand. She looked about again to make sure no one was watching.

"I wish I had died before this moment!" she declared in the voice of a lost soul.

She unwrapped the stick of Juicy Fruit and popped it in her mouth.

The jaws of heck swung open wide.

Brittina grinned like a predatory demon.

_**Really The End (I hope!)**_


End file.
